Thursday, January 2, 2020
12 habits of genuine people
12 habits of genuine people12 habits of genuine peopleTheres an enormous amount of research suggesting that emotional intelligence (EQ) is critical to your performance at work.TalentSmarthas tested the EQ of mora than a million people and found that it explains 58% of success in all types of jobs.People with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs. Ninety percent of top performers have high EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary. I could go on and on.Suffice it to say, emotional intelligence is a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with tremendous results.But theres a catch. Emotional intelligence wont do a thing for you if you arent genuine.A recent study from the Foster School of Business at the University of Washington found that people dont accept demonstrations of emotional intelligence at face value. Theyre too skeptical for that. They dont just want to landsee signs of emotional intelligence. They want to know that its genuine - that your emotions are authentic.According to lead researcher Christina Fong, when it comes to your coworkers They are not just mindless automatons. They think about the emotions they see and care whether they are sincere or manipulative.The same study found that sincere leaders are far more effective at motivating people because they inspire trust and admiration through theiractions,not just their words. Many leaderssaythat authenticity is important to them, but genuine leaders walk their talk every day.Its not enough to just go through the motions, trying to demonstrate qualities that are associated with emotional intelligence. You have to be genuine.You can do a gut check to find out how genuine you are by comparing your own behavior to that of people who are highly genuine. Consider the hallmarks of genuine people and see how you stack up.Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity, Janet Louise Stephenson said.1. Ge nuine people dont try to make people like themGenuine people are who they are. They know that some people will like them, and some wont. And theyre okay with that. Its not that they dont care whether or not other people will like them but simply that theyre not going to let that get in the way of doing the right thing. Theyre willing to make unpopular decisions and to take unpopular positions if thats what needs to be done.Since genuine people arent desperate for attention, they dont try to show off. They know that when they speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, people are much more attentive to and interested in what they have to say than if they try to show that theyre important. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what or how many people you know.2. They dont pass judgmentGenuine people are open-minded, which makes them approachable and interesting to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen.Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace, as approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other peoples eyes.This doesnt require you to believe what they believe or condone their behavior it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.3. They forge their own pathsGenuine people dont derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from the opinions of others. This frees them up to follow their own internal compasses. They know who they are and dont pretend to be anything else. Their direction comes from within, from their own principles and values. They do what they believe to be the right thing, and theyre not swayed by the fact that somebody might not like it.4. They are generousWeve all worked with people who constantly hold something bac k, whether its knowledge or resources. They act as if theyre afraid youll outshine them if they give you access to everything you need to do your job. Genuine people are unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know, and the resources they have access to.They want you to do well more than anything else because theyre gruppe players and theyre confident enough to never worry that your success might make them look bad. In fact, they believe that your successistheir success.5. They treat EVERYONE with respectWhether interacting with their biggest clients or servers taking their drink orders, genuine people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that no matter how nice they are to the people they have lunch with, its all for naught if those people witnesses them behaving badly toward others.Genuine people treat everyone with respect because they believe theyre no better than anyone else.6. They arent motivated by material thingsGenuine people dont need shiny, fancy stuff in order to feel good. Its not that they think its wrong to go out and buy the latest and greatest items to show off their status they just dont need to do this to be happy. Their happiness comes from within, as well as from the simpler pleasures- such as friends, family, and a sense of purpose- that make life rich.7. They are trustworthyPeople gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you dont know who they really are and how they really feel. Genuine people mean what they say, and if they make a commitment, they keep it.Youll never hear a truly genuine person say, Oh, I just said that to make the meeting end faster. You know that if they say something, its because they believe it to be true.8. They are thick-skinnedGenuine people have a strong enough sense of self that they dont go around seeing offense that isnt there. If somebody criticizes one of their ideas, they dont treat this as a personal attack. Theres no need for them to jump to conclusions, feel insulted, and start plotting their revenge.Theyre able to objectively evaluate negative and constructive feedback, accept what works, put it into practice, and leave the rest of it behind without developing hard feelings.9. They put away their phonesNothing turns someone off to you like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of their energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them. When you robotically approach people with small talk and are tethered to your phone, this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you.Genuine people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what theyre told to other important facets of the speakers life.10. They arent driven by egoGenuine people dont make decisions based on their egos because they dont need the admiration of others in order to feel good about themselves. Likewise, they dont seek the limelight or try to take credit for other peoples accomplishments. They simply do what needs to be done without saying, Hey, look at me11. They arent hypocritesGenuine people practice what they preach. They dont tell you to do one thing and then do the opposite themselves. Thats largely due to their self-awareness. Many hypocrites dont even recognize their mistakes. Theyre blind to their own weaknesses. Genuine people, on the other hand, fix their own problems first.12. They dont bragWeve all worked with people who cant stop talking about themselves and their accomplishments. Have you ever wondered why? They boast and brag because theyre insecure and worried that if they dont point out their accomplishments, no one will notice.Genuine people d ont need to brag. Theyre confident in their accomplishments, but they also realize that when you truly do something that matters, it stands on its own merits, regardless of how many people notice or appreciate it.Bringing it all togetherGenuine people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. They are firmly grounded in reality, and theyre truly present in each moment because theyre not trying to figure out someone elses agenda or worrying about their own.Travis Bradberry is the co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and the co-founder of TalentSmart.This article originally appeared on LinkedIn.
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